Exclusive Memory Chapter 9 Part 2

 I held the pages of fanned paper in my hand, and he held me. Instead of holding hands like a lover, he covered mine from the outside and rested on his lap.

The makeshift paper fan I held in my hand was so crumpled that I couldn't see its original form.

I knew he thought I wouldn't listen to him, so he simply wouldn't let me move.

"If you find me annoying, why don't I stop fanning?" I said.

He ignored it and still didn't let go. 

It was starting to get dark.

The bus TV was replaced with a new movie.

The fields in the distant mountains have been blurred by the gradually falling night, and occasionally one or two houses with lights on can be seen on the top of the mountain. The lights on the road in front of the side converged together, forming a long line of orange and red intertwined lights.

His palm was moist and hot.

It occurred to me that maybe he wasn't hot, maybe he wasn't annoying me but just tired of me doing it. Just like when my dad asked me: If you slap me so hard, your hands won't be sore?

So, I didn't move, no longer explained to him, no longer struggled, and followed him willingly.

At this time, the bus changed from being completely stationary to moving slowly.

After the engine restarted, the lights in the compartment suddenly came on.

Next to Mu Chenghe is the aisle, on the other side of the aisle are two sleeping male passengers, and beyond the passenger is the car window. The car window at this moment is like a mirror, I suddenly saw Mu Chenghe 's silhouette, and me from inside .

The Qingjun man in the mirror frowned tightly, holding the girl's hand with some stubbornness. And that girl's seemingly calm surface actually harbored embarrassment, timidity, and -- shyness.

For a moment, I saw this real self, and I was at a loss.

I didn't dare to look directly, so I immediately looked back, but I didn't know that the glass on my side was still a mirror, and it was close at hand, and the reflection was clearer than before. I bit my lip and mustered up the courage to stare at the glass again.

Looking past myself, my eyes landed on Mu Chenghe again, then used the remaining hand to find out the phone, and wrote a text message to Liu Qi:

Let's break up.

After entering the number, I looked at the words silently for a long time, my thumb lingered on the confirmation key, and finally sighed quietly, and saved it in the outbox instead.

The bus finally returned to normal speed, the temperature dropped, and the driver turned off all the lights in the car.

We were suddenly plunged into darkness, with the only source of light being the front TV screen. The light in the carriage flickered with the changes of the movie screen.

I suddenly felt that maybe it was such a place without light that could cover up my selfish heart, and thinking of this, I couldn't help but put my body completely against the back of the chair, feeling a little deflated, and at the same time, my hand moved.

My movement was so small and slight, but it still disturbed him. He paused slightly and let go of me.

I withdrew my hand in a timely manner and asked him, "Is it better?"

He opened his eyes and nodded, looking much better indeed.

I asked again: "Would you like something to eat?" Because neither of us had time to eat lunch, and even dinner could only be settled in the car, so before that, he went to buy a lot of food.

He said, "No need."

I looked at him sideways and asked softly, "What's wrong, can you tell me?"

He turned his head to look back at me, and then said lightly: "Sometimes I suddenly have tinnitus, and then I can't hear anything, and then I feel dizzy."

I was surprised: "Why?"

"It's a disease of the ear called Meniere's disease."

"When did it start, last year?" I said, "Years ago?"

"I had this disease when I was a few years old. I remember telling you that when I was young, I played in the lotus pond next to the library and fell into it. That was the first time I got sick."

I stare into his eyes.

He smiled, and said to me with relief: "So far, I feel pretty good. There is nothing to worry about if there is a small problem. The only regret is that many hobbies are banned by doctors now."

"What hobby?"

"Scuba diving and driving. Then the doctor finally gave me permission to drive slowly in the city."

"I've never dived, and I can't swim, that's what they call a landlubber."

"Diving has nothing to do with swimming. I will teach you next time."

"Didn't you say that the doctor forbids you to dive?"

"I did it secretly, and they don't know."

After a while, I couldn't help asking: "Surely it can be cured, right?"

"I'm one of those who don't have severe dizziness, but are biased towards hearing impairment."

"Then you will..." I didn't know how to say it, I was choosing words in my mind, but it was still in vain after thinking for a long time.

But Mu Chenghe seemed to understand me, and said: "Don't worry, it's not a serious problem, it's easy to cure, the worst patient I've ever seen is just deaf in old age." He looked away and said with relief : "However, whether it is now or when I get old, hearing is not too important to me. I am not a musician, actor, or singer. Even if I can't hear anything, I can continue to do what I want to accomplish. So It's not a fatal blow."

After saying that, he turned his eyes back, landed on my face, and smiled at me indifferently.

There was an indescribable feeling in my heart, especially after seeing Mu Chenghe's smiling face. He didn't force his face to smile, nor did he pretend to be tough, but a genuine kind of relief. A smile spread from the corners of his perennially smiling mouth, and then painted his entire brows. It bloomed on his face lightly, lightly, and implicitly, but it made people feel inexplicably heartbroken.

As if, the heart shrank into a ball at this moment.

For the second time in my life, I had the urge to hug him tightly.

Suddenly, my cell phone rang.

"Tongtong, where are you?" Mom asked on the phone.

"There was a traffic jam just now, I guess we'll get off the highway soon ."

"We're going to hold an emergency meeting temporarily. You go to accompany Uncle Chen. He's at home alone."

"Okay."

"Xiao Li will pick you up, but it will be a little later. You must be careful and wait in the waiting hall where there are security guards."

"It's okay, I'm not afraid, someone came with me."

"Who?"

"My friend," I said.

My answer made my mother pause on the phone before saying, "That's fine."

Unexpectedly, Xiao Li's car arrived before us. He had sharp eyes and found me in the crowd.

"Your friend?" Xiao Li said when he saw Mu Chenghe next to me.

Mu Chenghe took the initiative to shake hands with him, "My name is Mu Chenghe."

"I'm Li Ping, they all call me Xiao Li."

"Xue Tong is delivered to you, my task is completed, and I will catch the last bus."

"How? Still leaving so late?" Xiao Li said and looked at me.

I didn't know that he was really going to leave, and I was anxious: "You haven't eaten two meals, you can go back tomorrow." When I mentioned him to my mother just now, I made up my mind that I must not let him leave and take the night bus back to City A alone.

I don't know if Xiao Li understood what I meant at once, or if he misunderstood the relationship between me and Mu Chenghe, in short, he completely stood on my side and said: "If Tong Jian knows that I let you go like this, she will definitely not let me go when she goes back. Brother Mu, you'll go back after tonight." After speaking, he pulled Mu Chenghe into the car.

Fortunately, Mu Chenghe is not a stubborn person, so he got into the car together and sat in the back row with me.

We didn't go to Uncle Chen's house. Xiao Li said that Chen Yan's grandmother had a heart attack and went to the hospital when she found out about it. Now Uncle Chen is busy in the hospital.

"Then... let's go see Chen Yan."

Xiao Li glanced at me in the rearview mirror and said, "OK."

"What happened?"

Xiao Li's eyes suddenly darkened, changed his previous temperament, and said with great difficulty: "Chen Yan, she... She didn't come home all night last night, this had never happened before, her phone didn't work, and then everyone looked for her, and the next morning there was no result. Later, someone found her hairpin on the corner of the first floor of the Commissar, and..." He paused, "At noon, behind the parking lot of the community, in the ditch next to the wall... Seeing her body, she was also given by someone..."

He didn't go on.

When I got there, I saw many reporters and policemen in uniform.

Someone said: "It should be following the deceased home and seducing her with a drug in the corridor. The parking lot is the scene of the crime.”

"It was raped first, and then stabbed with a knife. The knife in the neck artery was fatal."

"The murderer dragged the body for dozens of meters, threw it into a ditch, and covered it with leaves."

I anxiously pushed through the crowd and followed Xiao Li to the autopsy room. Xiao Li went in first, then looked back at me. I stood at the door and looked at the girl lying on the bed.

The body is covered with a white cloth.

The toes of the right foot are exposed, and the thumbnail is painted with blue nail polish. I also used that nail polish. We bought it together during the Chinese New Year. I chose powder rouge and she chose sapphire blue.

I approached her slowly, then stood there uncovering a corner and saw her face.

Her face was bluish-purple, not as ugly as people outside said, her face was peaceful, and there was a scratch on one cheek.

I used to listen to their words, no matter what my mother said, what Xiao Li said, or even what the police outside said, I didn't feel too sad, because I didn't believe it would be true from the bottom of my heart, until I saw this. The face under the white cloth.

At this moment, I suddenly felt that my stomach started to convulse, and there was a surge of heat that rushed up to my throat. I covered my mouth, ran outside, leaned against the wall and started to vomit.

But there was nothing in the stomach at all, except for a puddle of gastric juice, nothing was vomited out.

I have not been a timid person since I was a child. I also went to the morgue to identify my father's body. After many years, my mind actually overlapped the two figures together.

First it was Dad, then it was Chen Yan.

Dad said: "Tongtong, you are Dad's baby."

Chen Yan said: "It's nice to be alone, carefree, and I have other ideals."

Then, I started sobbing.

Crying and crying, I vomited again, until someone pulled me up, took me out, pushed me away from the crowd, and took me to the outside.

The man held my face, wiped away my tears with his hand again and again, and said, "Xue Tong, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry." "His fingers got wet, he changed the back of his hand, and the back of his hand got wet and changed his palm. I've never seen him so clumsy.

He can answer the four arithmetic operations that are astronomical to me in one breath.

He can stand on the stage facing the domestic and foreign experts below, and answer all tricky questions without being humble or overbearing.

He can describe his physical defects very lightly.

He can make many people look up to him in his field.

But when I cried so much that I almost forgot to breathe, he seemed at a loss all of a sudden, like an adult who has done something wrong, coaxing a child with unskilled skills, only repeating the words "don't cry" in his mouth.

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